Video of the Day: I Hate Duke University Edition

I hate Duke University. I hate everything about it. I don't give a fuck-I'm going out like Tim Hardaway-I HATE DUKE and ANYTHING or ANYONE that has to do with DUKE

That being said, the following video had be laughing out loud for 10 minutes staight. Fuck all you beeyotches at Duke

How O.J. Mayo, Basketball Diva decided to go to USC: This wanker is a fucking joke

So let me see if I understand this: O.J. Mayo is a 6'5" high school shooting guard who has bounced all over the nation playing basketball for 5 different schools. Typical for a shithead athlete-someone's always willing to give him a chance right? But this shitbird has already racked up a rapsheet worthy of a motherfucker in the pros:

-Assaulting fellow students during homecoming dance.
-Got busted with some dank.
-Bumped a ref, got suspended, got a fucking judge to throw out the suspension, and played in the nationally televised high school basketball game.


This kid is supposed to be the best high school basketball player in the country right now. But he can't jump to the NBA because they banned fools jumping straight to the pros from high school last year. So he's gotta go to college somewhere. So apparently he 'chose' USC.
Here are some excerpts from that article in the NY Times about how this came about:

A stranger walked into the University of Southern California basketball office one day last summer and asked to speak to the head coach. The stranger did not make an appointment. He did not call ahead. Tim Floyd, the U.S.C. head coach, cannot explain why he agreed to see him.

The mysterious man got right to the point. “How would you like to have the best player in the country?” he asked.Floyd tried not to roll his eyes.“Have you heard of O. J. Mayo?” the man asked.Of course Floyd had heard of him. Everyone in basketball had heard of him. Mayo was first mentioned in Sports Illustrated when he was in the seventh grade. He was considered a future lottery pick by the time he entered high school. He once talked trash to Michael Jordan during a pickup game at Jordan’s camp.

“O. J. wanted me to come here today,” the man told Floyd. “He wanted me to figure out who you are.”

“Why aren’t you at Arizona or Connecticut?” Floyd recalled asking.The man explained that Mayo wanted to market himself before going to the N.B.A., and that Los Angeles would give him the best possible platform.“Then why aren’t you at U.C.L.A.?” Floyd asked.The man shook his head. U.C.L.A. had already won 11 national championships. It had already produced many N.B.A. stars. Mayo wanted to be a pioneer for a new era.

WTF? Turns out that guy wasn't Mayo's dad(does he even know who he is?), uncle or any other relative. He was a fucking event promoter that 'befriended' Mayo. Remember this shithead is still in high school

“Let me call him,” Floyd said.The man shook his head again. “O. J. doesn’t give out his cell,” he said. “He’ll call you.”

Wow, "O.J. doesn't give out his cell". And Tim Floyd is supposed to coach this kid? Floyd should of told this rat-fuck to get the hell out of his office and take his horse with him. Of course Floyd creams his pants at the thought of getting his piece of prime beef at USC. Later Mayo calls him:

When Floyd answered the phone, he heard a teenager’s voice on the other end: “Coach, this is O. J. Mayo. I’d like to come to your school.”

Mayo asks how many scholarships does Floyd have and then tells Floyd that he'll bring some of his homies to play at USC too-WTF who's recruiting who now?

Before Floyd hung up, he asked one more time for Mayo’s cellphone number. “No,” Mayo said. “I’ll call you.”

Jeezus. I can see this ending really well for USC and Mayo. He's going to enjoy the college experience soooooo much. Tim Floyd will be his mentor, father-figure and coach him to help his game and Mayo will embrace it because he's all about improving himself as a player, but most importantly as a person.

Pftttt...yeah right. This is the fucking Titanic beeyotch. Pieces of Shit like Mayo have only one redeeming quality in their bodies-a talent for putting a leather ball through a metal hoop. No respect, no values, no personalities, no work ethic. Cue up "Send in the Clowns" USC is going to need it when this idiot gets on campus. The Bucket of Shit Award this month goes to O.J. Mayo, Tim Floyd, and USC.

You have got to be kidding me...

Reading the SFgate this morning and saw this shit.

I got one question for all of you out there: Who would buy a fucking $275 Armani t-shirt?

One answer: Some dumbass Asian motherfucker that's who.

-probably from Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan
-Maybe some rich ethnic chinese freak from Indonesian, Malaysian or the Phillipines because we all know the native populations of these countries can't even afford rice on a stick.
-FOB-ass asians of all nationalities here in the United States. You know who I'm talking about-the dudes wear their hair in faux-hawks or combed forwards like effeminate videogame characters from Japan with 'highlights' that look better on their FOB girlfriends which brings us to...
-FOB chicks that all dye their hair the same shade of shit-brown or piss-yellow. They all look alike and weigh 90lbs each.
-Trendy Asian Bitch or TAB's These gold digging CfMs(Concubines for Money) just live for shit like this t-shirt.
-International Students who have their rich parents pay for anything they fucking want, including $275 t-shirts, common sense be-damned.
-American Born asians who don't know any better than to keep up with FOBs and TABs but are blowing up their credit cards in the process.

BTW the $275 t-shirt is the Armani in the middle. Fucking 'fashion' indeed.

late

Hate, Hate, hate everywhere...

Here at WTF Foolio, we love to rant about shit that deserves ridicule, derision and plain old shit talking. So sometimes I read something that makes me laugh, chortle, and all that good shit.

Over at SFGate, the SF Chronicle website, they have a section called the Daily Dish. It's basically a gossip column about celebrity news and tidbits. Well, SFGate started allowing readers to leave comments on stories and the Daily Dish was no exception. Today there was a article about everyone's favorite skank, Paris Hilton. Here's the blurb:

Paris Hilton celebrated her 26th birthday in Las Vegas over the weekend with two dates.

The star celebrated at sushi restaurant Nobu with her sister Nicky, Nicky's boyfriend David Katzenberg and Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.

According to veteran Hollywood gossip columnist Janet Charlton, Hilton had two dates for the evening, former boyfriend Stavros Niarchos and Brandon Davis.

The socialite was seen hopping between Niarchos and Davis, alternately kissing one, and then the other, between bites of sushi.

The cozy threesome also reportedly shared a room at The Palms Hotel and Casino

Well I started reading some of the comments left by the citizens of my fair City and started laughing because some of the shit they left was funny as hell and since I do want to entertain my readers I'm going to reprint some of the better ones:

1. That's nice that people with herpes can find partners who have it too..er..don't mind!
2. Cum guzzling scuzz bucket. Semen belcher. Oh, lord, I just grossed my own damn self out.
3. I guess it takes two to fill er up these days, eh? sorry, poor taste. couldn't resist.
4. after her b-day celebrations, her next cosmetic surgery will be to put an elastic drawstring on her snatch to keep her organs from falling out.
5. I doubt these little twinks would know what to do with her body. She played it safe.
6. So, which one got the sloppy seconds?
7. Good question Drewby. I think the first guy in this case is getting sloppy 467ths.
8. "inbetween bites of sushi"? I imagine she was saying, "Get used to the smell boys"
9. She is so gross. I wish she would pull an Anna Nicole and just drop dead.

Ahhh San Francisco, you gotta love it. Where the streets run red with H8torade.

Colorado: Hell on Earth or misunderstood Shang Ri-La?

The Rocky Mountains, mile high altitude, skiing, Denver Broncos, Jolly Rancher candy; There are alot of great things to like about Colorado. That was before the fucking residents went ape-shit and all kinds of crazy and sick shit started happening. Lets recap shall we?

April 20, 1999 Littleton, CO-Columbine High School Massacre - Two punk-ass white boys decide they're getting off the Matrix and take as many people with them as they can. They fucking aquire an arsenal of weapons and homemade bombs under the noses of their oblivious parents and attack the school. Result? 13 dead, 24 wounded, and Littleton, CO becoming a fucking national symbol of clowning for the rest of this century. The only solace we have is that since the two fools committed suicide instead of getting a broomstick up the ass in prison, their getting a pitchfork up the ass in Hell.

Burn in hell cocksuckers

Summer 2003 Eagle County, CO- Kobe Bryant is accused of rape while there to get surgery on his knee. Dumb motherfucker then threw teammate Shaquille O'Neil under the bus when questioned by the cops, saying that "he should have done what Shaq does ... that Shaq would pay his women not to say anything" and already had paid up to $1 million "for situations like this."

Kobe and his victim err...date

Dec 26, 1999 Boulder, CO-6 yr old JonBenet Ramsey is found dead in her parents house the day after fucking Christmas. NO ONE knows what the fuck happened to her. Her parents are fingered by the Boulder Police. What ensues is a unholy feeding frenzy of TV interviews, press conferences, lawsuits and rolled eyeballs whenever the words Boulder and Colorado are heard in the same sentence . Also the fact that JonBenet's WASP mom put up her in creepy 'child' beauty pageants, was just another bizarre twist to this fucked up story. In the years since no one is arrested and the cops have no suspects. Then some freak American pervert err...teacher in Thailand claims he fucking killed the kid. But it then turns out even though dude is a deranged pedophile, he could not have possibly done the crime, since he hasn't mastered the art of being a pervert in two places at the same time. Busted for being a moron! To this date, no suspects, no arrests and its been 8 years and counting. Hooah! That's justice!

The parents and the poor child. Look at this shit, she never had a chance. Rustle them up in heaven JonBenet, rest in peace.

Sept 2003 Denver, CO - Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker Joey Porter is shot in the ass as he stands outside a downtown denver nightclub. He uses the experience to motivate his teammates. Watch near the end of this one-minute clip:



Jan 1, 2007 Denver, CO - After attending a New Years Eve party at a downtown Denver nightclub, Denver Bronco player Darrent Williams dies like a G, shot down while in his stretch Hummer in a hail of bullets in a drive-by assassination. Ironically celebrating his teams elimination from the playoffs, the amount of angst and bewilderment over Williams' gatting lasts a unusually long time since about 1000 young black men have already been gunned down in Oakland, CA in 2006 alone without nary a ESPN Sportscenter segment on them.

A fine, upstanding pillar of the community this guy was, no doubt.


April 8, 2006 Denver, CO - Denver Nuggets rookie guard, Julius Hodge, is shot three times while driving home from a downtown Denver nightclub. Since he neither died from his wounds or played in the Super Bowl, so no one gives a fuck. Sorry Julius.

***Photo not available** hahaha

Jan 12, 2007 Littleton, CO - A private investigator from Littleton, CO, Bryan Grady, pleads guilty to identity theft and conspiracy in connection with the HP spying scandal. Fuck, even with shit happening in another state, Littleton, Co can't catch a break.

***What's the point in even posting a picture of this loser?***

Dec 26, 2006 Fort Collins, CO - Teacher Carrie McCandless is accused of doing 'everything but sex' with a 17 year old student on a hiking trip when she was suposed to chaperone. The pair reportedly made out in cars, the woods, dry humped next to another sleeping student, drank grain alcohol and Jack Daniels, smoked dank, exchanged notes even after the trip-including 75 text messages in one day, and they never had sex.

Teacher of the Year.

That's quite a list of criminal acts and generally fucked up behavior. I could have gone on for more, but I'm lazy. Colorado has set the bar pretty high for other states to beat them in the Fucked Up News category. Does the high altitude alter human brain waves in Colorado? Sort of like Bizarro Aurora Burealis effect, but instead of cool lights in the sky, people just go plain fucking crazy? I have relatives in Denver myself and they are decent God-fearing people. I hope that none of this crazyness touches them.

My cousin K-Dog, who was raised and still lives in Denver, is tripping off the shabby treatment that Colorado receives. I feel for her, but damn, you can't ignore the motherfucking empirical knowledge I've just fucking dropped. Colorado has a worst rep than Mississippi. When was the last time you heard of the KKK killing someone last year? Colorado's screwed. If I was the governor, I'd cringe whenever I opened up the morning paper. It's enough to stick a sharp pencil in your eye.

PS: Watch the hell out if your a black athlete in downtown Denver. You will get fucking shot, that's a scientific fact. A strange phenomenon called "Catching a bullet in Denver-itis". THEY SHOT ME IN DENVER!

Here's what this bitch-ass, trick-ass little disgrace SHOULD have said in his press conference today...

Thank you everybody for coming today. I have a statement that I would like to read. As all of you know, I did not accompany my unit for deployment to fight in Iraq. First I told you guys that I believed the war was illegal and that's why I was confined to base, hanging around headquarters like a Two-Dollar basehead waiting for a trick. But today I would like to tell you the truth. And the truth is...I'm a just a little biatch. I'm literally and figuratively a YELLOW coward. You may find it ironic that a asian man is calling himself 'yellow' but it's a double-entrende, since my back is as yellow as Benedict Arnold's.

Yes, I refused to go to Iraq with my platoon of soldiers that counted on me for my leadership. And yes I admit I accepted a commission and I accepted a promotion to 1st LT, and I accepted a posting to a infantry, combat unit. But that doesn't mean shit to a back-slider like myself. I know now that I should have never joined a profession that uses words like Duty, Honor, Country. I mean, do they use words like that in like, you know, regular jobs? I don't think so. And I do not appreciate being called names like punk, pogue, trick, pillow-biter, traitor, mark, rat-bastard, shithouse lawyer, bitch-ass punk, trick-ass mark, fucking goddamn rat bastard or any other combination thereof. I mean grow the hell up people. I have to look out for all the rest of the Army, all 99.9% of them that have not realized the truth like I have. This whole Army, guns, death business in the Middle East is not what I signed up for. The daily reports of carnage and mayhem in Iraq is exactly the kind of stuff that I can change, back here in the rear, with the gear-so to speak. You can be I intend to disgrace err...speak-out on the illegal war out there. I am going to fight this court-martial as hard as my former platoon is probably fighting in Iraq. Thank you.

The NBA has got to get off of DuhWayne Wade's testicles

Watching the Super Bowl in Miami today, it reminded me of a rant I wanted to get of my chest:

First watch these three videos courtesy of YouTube:


AND

AND


Here are my thoughts on this bullshit:

• What.The.Fuck
• I don't remember falling asleep for 4 years and waking up to find out that DWAYNE FUCKING WADE has given the status of 'Untouchable' in the NBA.
• The examples here are nothing compared to the shit that went on in the NBA Finals last year. If I was Mark Cuban, I'd hire a fucking straight platoon of pipehitting, former Spec Ops dudes to fucking kidnap Wade and go to work with a 'blowtorch and a pair of pliers'
• If it wasn't so blatant, it wouldn't be too bad. I mean, even the greatests players got away with shit now and then. But Wade's nut riding is ridiculous. How long has he been in the league? 3-4 years? WTF? He's getting calls that HoFers could only get.
  
• Even motherfuckers over at ESPN are tripping the manlove that Wade's getting. This excerpt is from a chat log with columnist Chris Sheridan:
  

Oliver ( NY):
Isn't it great to be able to make 9 FG and get 41 PTS? I LOVE THIS GAME!!! I wish Kobe would get even half the calls Wade gets. MJ's greatness was aided by "superstar" calls or no calls, sorry, but Kobe gets half the treatment of a wade or Lebron, why?

Chris Sheridan:
You're preaching to the choir here, Oliver. every single night D-Wade gets three gift whistles (which even LeBron and Kobe don't get) at a minimum, and one or two late whistles, too. He's treated as preferrentially as Jordan was at the peak of his game, and it is infuriating to watch (unless you're a Heat fan). And I say all that being one of the biggest D-Wade guys around, a Marquette grad even. But it's just plain unfair to see one guy get such special treatment. It takes away from the game.

• I can't watch Heat games anymore, because whenever there's a whistle, 10 to 1 it's Wade getting fouled.
  
• Hey Wade, you have been added to the "I'm A Beeyotch!!" list.
  

Fuck Tom Brady: This time its Personal

This pic says all one thousand words that I want to say about this no good-overrated, trick-ass, mark-ass, punk-ass, wussy (half wimp/half pussy), little beeyotch. I got a special place for the likes of his sorry, Tuck-Rule, wannabe Montana ass. This motherfucker is from Pinole, when is the last time you saw a cowboy there?

Pic of the Day

This is for all the shitheads trying to 'help the children' by legislating against 'violent' videogames. Let's try an another idea: LET PARENTS RAISE THEIR OWN GODDAMN KIDS, YOU ASSHOLES. Yeah I'm talking to you Jack Thompson-Ichiban asshole.

WTF Foolio? Look at this dude...am I going to have to fuck somebody up?

Just. Look. At. This. Picture.

Some questions pop up in your mind:

1. Is this some kind of fucking joke?
2. What army could this ball of fat be in?
3. Seriously, is this a joke?
4. Do they really make Load Bearing, Tactical Vests in that size?
5. Is that a kid's helmet or is that dude's head that fat?
   

Answers: No, no, no, no and fucking no

After digging around the intertubes, I found out some more about this...specimen. The mastadon here is playing soldier with his airsoft gun. What's a airsoft gun you ask? It's a fucking bb-gun thats what. People roleplay like they are in a army, with these airsoft guns as their weapons. You can read more about it here. That's right, a glorified bb gun, just like the Red Rider BB-gun that Ralphie was after in A Christmas Story. Apparently its really popular in Japan, where I hope to God this guys lives because if he's in America, I will hunt him down like the baby elephant that he is. He's fucking playing soldier with a fucking bb-gun. He's wearing all that military gear that he probably bought online because he's too embarrassed to walk into a Ranger Joes, has a $500 replica M-4 Carbine that just shoots bbs?

You want to talk about weekend warriors? These airsoft freaks are so pitiful they make the pogues in the National Guard and Reserve look like fucking Special Forces Green Berets! Airsoft is the closest that this gelatinous lump of shit can get to a army, unless he drives by a military installation. The only positive he's doing is testing out the stretching capacity of the side panels of that overmatched TacVest that he's wearing. Somehow I don't think his massive girth was the ideal template that the manufactuers had in mind when they designed it. This fat body must find pants confining. This dude should be running around in a poncho, muumuu, jumpsuit, unisheet, muslin body roll, or academic or judicial robe, not woodland camouflage BDUs. Fucking fatburger.

I had the misfortune of finding more than I ever wanted to know about airsoft than is healthy. They have to be the most pathetic bunch of shitheads in my recent memory. You have a fucking war going on in Iraq and you have these idiots posting on message boards shit like this and this! Here's a sample post by one of those assholes:

Post some pics of your US Marine loadouts. Even though I know all of them will be desert ones. I would still love too see them. And the first who has a Marine Force Recon loadout gets a cookie.

This post got fucking over 100 pages of replies. This was posted by this asshat here. Looks like the next Audie Murphy right? More like broomstick up the ass bait.What the fuck kind of fantasy world are these fleshlumps living in? Fucking real men are putting their ass on the line everyday all over the world so shitbird here can sit in front of his computer and spew that shit? Someone gimme a knife so I can shank a motherfucker.

***Also found this story of a bunch airsofters almost getting killed by the local cops for 'playing soldier' in the streets. They had every available cop from the entire area converge on them, thinking something very bad was happening. Too bad they didn't get shot down like the dogs they are. This world would have been a better place if they did. Fucking Darwin failed us that day.***