Just. Look. At. This. Picture.Some questions pop up in your mind:
- Is this some kind of fucking joke?
- What army could this ball of fat be in?
- Seriously, is this a joke?
- Do they really make Load Bearing, Tactical Vests in that size?
- Is that a kid's helmet or is that dude's head that fat?
After digging around the intertubes, I found out some more about this...specimen. The mastadon here is playing soldier with his airsoft gun. What's a airsoft gun you ask? It's a fucking bb-gun thats what. People roleplay like they are in a army, with these airsoft guns as their weapons. You can read more about it here. That's right, a glorified bb gun, just like the Red Rider BB-gun that Ralphie was after in A Christmas Story. Apparently its really popular in Japan, where I hope to God this guys lives because if he's in America, I will hunt him down like the baby elephant that he is. He's fucking playing soldier with a fucking bb-gun. He's wearing all that military gear that he probably bought online because he's too embarrassed to walk into a Ranger Joes, has a $500 replica M-4 Carbine that just shoots bbs?
You want to talk about weekend warriors? These airsoft freaks are so pitiful they make the pogues in the National Guard and Reserve look like fucking Special Forces Green Berets! Airsoft is the closest that this gelatinous lump of shit can get to a army, unless he drives by a military installation. The only positive he's doing is testing out the stretching capacity of the side panels of that overmatched TacVest that he's wearing. Somehow I don't think his massive girth was the ideal template that the manufactuers had in mind when they designed it. This fat body must find pants confining. This dude should be running around in a poncho, muumuu, jumpsuit, unisheet, muslin body roll, or academic or judicial robe, not woodland camouflage BDUs. Fucking fatburger.
I had the misfortune of finding more than I ever wanted to know about airsoft than is healthy. They have to be the most pathetic bunch of shitheads in my recent memory. You have a fucking war going on in Iraq and you have these idiots posting on message boards shit like this and this! Here's a sample post by one of those assholes:
Post some pics of your US Marine loadouts. Even though I know all of them will be desert ones. I would still love too see them. And the first who has a Marine Force Recon loadout gets a cookie.This post got fucking over 100 pages of replies. This was posted by this asshat here. Looks like the next Audie Murphy right? More like broomstick up the ass bait.What the fuck kind of fantasy world are these fleshlumps living in? Fucking real men are putting their ass on the line everyday all over the world so shitbird here can sit in front of his computer and spew that shit? Someone gimme a knife so I can shank a motherfucker.
***Also found this story of a bunch airsofters almost getting killed by the local cops for 'playing soldier' in the streets. They had every available cop from the entire area converge on them, thinking something very bad was happening. Too bad they didn't get shot down like the dogs they are. This world would have been a better place if they did. Fucking Darwin failed us that day.***
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2 comments:
at least he is getting exercises rather than sitting on a computer making fun of fat people. and as for airsoft... the military uses airsoft gun to train.... so learn more or shut the fuck up
Airsoft is just a game, man! Take it easy!
Real airsoft players doesn't like people who think that they're at war cause ,as you said, shooting with a 500$ bb gun doesn't mean that you are a Navy Seal...
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