Here's the difference between White People and Asians

Sorry everyone about the absence all week. There's some straight shit coming your way from the Nghiemesis these coming days.

Now, on to the show...

Everyone saw what that twisted freak did in Virginia on Monday. And like all asians, my fucking jaw dropped on Tuesday when it turned out the motherfucker was asian. Fuck! Now we got one of them-a fucking mass murderer on our hands just like the white folks. But there's a huge difference-Cho's family know when to fess up and take responsibilty for their deranged kin. Today the family of that-fucker-that-is-burning-in-Hell issued a heartfelt apology to everyone.

On behalf of our family, we are so deeply sorry for the devastation my brother has caused. No words can express our sadness that 32 innocent people lost their lives this week in such a terrible, senseless tragedy. We are heartbroken.

We grieve alongside the families, the Virginia Tech community, our State of Virginia, and the rest of the nation. And, the world.

Now contrast this with the parents of those fuckwads Klebold and Harris after the Columbine Massacre. Harris' parents have not said shit since it happened and Klebold's parents said this shit:

"Dylan (Klebold) did not do this because of the way he was raised," Susan Klebold told columnist David Brooks in Saturday's editions of The New York Times. "He did it in contradiction to the way he was raised."

"I haven't done anything for which I need forgiveness, Susan Klebold said."

WTF? Are these white people fucking clueless? No more than 5 days after their son goes on the worst rampage ever, his family is profusely apologizing for his actions. 8 years after Columbine and the parents still have not apologized for the actions of their twisted progeny. Fucking people.

I'd like to sign off with one more quote from the Cho family statement

Every day since April 16, my father, mother and I pray for students Ross Abdallah Alameddine, Brian Roy Bluhm, Ryan Christopher Clark, Austin Michelle Cloyd, Matthew Gregory Gwaltney, Caitlin Millar Hammaren, Jeremy Michael Herbstritt, Rachael Elizabeth Hill, Emily Jane Hilscher, Jarrett Lee Lane, Matthew Joseph La Porte, Henry J. Lee, Partahi Mamora Halomoan Lumbantoruan, Lauren Ashley McCain, Daniel Patrick O'Neil, J. Ortiz-Ortiz, Minal Hiralal Panchal, Daniel Alejandro Perez, Erin Nicole Peterson, Michael Steven Pohle, Jr., Julia Kathleen Pryde, Mary Karen Read, Reema Joseph Samaha, Waleed Mohamed Shaalan, Leslie Geraldine Sherman, Maxine Shelly Turner, Nicole White, Instructor Christopher James Bishop, and Professors Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, Kevin P. Granata, Liviu Librescu and G.V. Loganathan.

R.I.P. to the fallen

Geek Squad flunkie/pervert caught taking cellphone video of a hottie in the shower

Well, well looks like Geek Squad and Best Buy have a little lawsuit on their hands.

According to the story, this dude, Hao Kuo Chi, went over to a woman's house to fix her computer. He sees her hottie daughter taking a shower and like an idiot, plants his cellphone in the bathroom, hoping to get some material to exercise to later. The younger sister finds the phone, takes out the memory card and they find the 'footage'. Dude even tried to bribe them to get it back! Jesus what a idiot. And the daughter that was in the shower? A smoking hottie! Geek Squad perv could have done alot worse.

Here is an interview with the hottie

Road/Cell Phone Rage in South Korea: Korean dude pulls a Terminator

I don't know about you, but if my cell phone isn't working, I'm not driving my S500 Mercedes through the front door of T-Mobile in a fit of rage. This dude must have been kinda pissed off.

Apparently since 'Kims' phone didn't work too well, even though he was told they would replace it with a newer model, after getting the brush off from SK Telecom 16 times over the phone, dude camped the car outside SK Telecom's corporate HQ with some signs lamenting his problem. Oh man, this guys already a nut. Dude was told to leave.

He pulled a fucking Terminator ("I'll Be Back") and rams the fucking Mercedes thru the front lobby. He did not get out and commence to shoot up the location looking for Sarah Connor fortunately.



Here's the kicker: The car wasn't his, it was his friend's.

Man of the Week: Nappy Headed Hos Edition

Snoop, how can a motherfucker thank you?

So, earlier this week I awarded Dan Imus Asshole of the Week for his comments about the nappy headed hos on the womans Rutgers bball team. This story has blown up to epic proportions and Imus is visibly, physically shrinking before our very eyes. That jerk looks like he's 100 years old now! Snoop Dogg has weighed in and his shit is PRICELESS.

Snoop has dismissed comparisons between sexist hip-hop lyrics and the recent racist remarks made by radio DJ Don Imus.

Imus was suspended by CBS Radio and MSNBC on Monday after he referred to the Rutgers University women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hoes."

Snoop frequently refers to women as "bitches" and "hoes" in his music, but insists Imus' use of the term was unacceptable and says the 66-year-old DJ should be taken off the air.

The star says, "It's a completely different scenario.

"(Rappers) are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports.

"We're talking about hoes that's in the 'hood that ain't doing [bleep], that's trying to get a [bleep] for his money. These are two separate things.

"First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC going hard on black girls.

"We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them [bleeps] say we are in the same league as him.

"Kick him off the air forever."

Utterly priceless. Many have written in recent days about the apparent dichotomy of the black community condemning Imus' gaffe, but not the rap artists over the years that sing about beeyotches and hos. Snoop has distilled the arguments down to their base levels, rendering the bleetings of the haters as futile and then pimped slapped them like Ike did Tina. Man, I love Snoop, but they are still haters out there. I can think of one right now**cough**Doug Booie**cough** who say that Snoop fell off, that Snoop is too busy doing other shit than spitting raps. I say that he's still got it, but why flaunt it? His shit from 15 years ago is still better than the bullshit released these days(E-40 excepted).

Here's to Snoop, a motherfucker that is still keeping it real.

60 Minutes follows Navy SEALs in Afghanistan

What's amazing about this video is that the SEALs are pretty paranoid about publicity (Not as paranoid than Delta-when's the last time you ever heard anything about them?). This reporter has some amazing access with her camera, following them on ops in A-Stan. Well-balanced and informative. Check it out.

Asshole of the Week: Nappy Headed Hos Edition

A Nappy Headed Ho for Rutgers takes it to the rack

So Rutgers lost to Tennessee in the Womans NCAA National Championship. Woman's basketball is painful to watch, so I can proudly sat I didn't even watch a commercial for that borefest. Between the homophobic coaches, lesbian coaches rug munching on their own players, fans who like the sport because of the preponderence of homos and idiot homophobic fans who deny there are homos in womans basketball, woman's basketball in general has issues, least of which are the horse faced chicks that play in it. But because of the woman's tournament, I did find my Asshole of the Week. After Rutgers won, Dan Imus, a radio wank from New York cracked this shit on them:

The Rutgers team, which includes eight black women, had lost the day before in the NCAA women's championship game. Imus was speaking with producer Bernard McGuirk about the game when the exchange began on "Imus in the Morning," which is broadcast to millions of people on more than 70 stations and MSNBC.

"That's some rough girls from Rutgers," Imus said. "Man, they got tattoos..."

"Some hardcore hos," McGuirk said.

"That's some nappy-headed hos there, I'm going to tell you that," Imus said.

Now Imus is in a world of shit. When you have Al Sharpton and Jessee Jackson on your ass, I would start polishing up the ole' resume-Your Going to Get Fired Son.

I got no problems with people's beliefs, stereotypes, or what they do and say privately. Whatever floats your boat right? But this F-idiot (fucking idiot) had to blab it on national radio. Of course female athletes look fearsome to some males, even threatening. I had a fucking 6'1" center for our woman's college team have a crush on me and it scared the shit out of me. Would she roll-over in bed and smother me like a beached whale if I dated her? But you don't say it on the fucking airwaves you fool. And now your ass is going to hit the bricks. Well, good luck on satellite radio you fucking trick-ass mark. And here's a picture of Imus-this motherfuckers got a white-man's Jheri Curl for chrissakes! And he's clowning the black chicks at Rutgers for nappy hair?

Jheri-curled Asshole of the Week

Wild Grizzly bears are our friends...until they ate me.

I'm sure all of you out there seen or heard the story about Timothy Treadwell, AKA the Grizzly Man. He and his girlfriend were killed in a bear attack in 2003. He was a ex-drug addict who decided to watch the bears in Alaska. He ended up doing it for 13 years, writing books about his experience and was the subject of a film documentary. He was a guest on talk shows and started a website about protecting bears. This all sounds tragically ironic right?

BUT...(you knew there was a 'But' right?)

I have to say I was laughing my ASS off reading about this moron and his TIMELY demise.

Kevin Sanders, a naturalist and guide, wrote up a great recap of the probable last moments of this fools misguided life here. Its great reading and you'll be laughing your ass off in no time.

Anyway back to the story:

This fool was a fucking idiot of the HIGHEST order. He was not a trained scientist, biologist, zoologist or ecologist. After ODing on drugs in the 90s, he started going to Alaska. Having no formal scientific training, all he did was hang out with the bears. That's it. Oh he said he was 'protecting' them from poachers and hunters. So what did the poor bears do when you weren't there the other 8 months out of the year asshole? He worked as a fucking bartender who saved his money all year to go to Alaska to see these bears. He was just a hippie who decided that HE was going to protect the grizzlies, that HE was an eco-warrior, that HE understood these wild animals. He broke every single tenet, rule, protocol, fucking everything, when he was around wild animals, especially these huge, omnivorous predators. The list of idiot shit this guy did boggles the mind and makes you think "It took the bears 13 years to kill this dumb fuck?" That says more about the bear's tolerance of human beings than it does about Treadwell's 'methods'.

-He stopped carrying bear spray with him several years ago. A friend later said that "He just felt that was an invasive, aggressive mechanism that translated into a kind of attitude. He didn't want to have that attitude." Yeah buddy, I think bear spray would have helped when the bear was gnawing on your fucking head huh?
-He anthropomorphized the bears, giving them names, comparing their behavior to human equivalents. One bear he named "Ollie, the big old grumpy bear". Treadwell didn't like this bear because it had fought another female bear(sow) that Treadwell did like. Some remains of Treadwell and his idiot girlfriend were found in the stomach of a 1,000lb bear killed at their campsite. Many theorize that this bear was 'Ollie'. Oh sweet irony...'Ollie' was a 'bad' bear and 'bad' bears do bad things...such as kill and eat idiot hippies who fuck with them.
-He would creep within yards of feeding bears and also sows with cubs, talking in a childlike sing-song voice to 'soothe' them. Yep, that really worked when that bear was mauling your hippie ass huh?
-Treadwell camped at the worst time of the year-at the end of the salmon run when bears are desperate to put on weight before hibernation. There was a poor berry crop that year too. Uh not a good idea to be around wild animals when they are 'desperate' and 'hungry'. Did this guy need a fucking flashing neon sign that DANGER DANGER?
-Treadwell purposely camped RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of intersecting bear paths that led to the river. This quote in the Anchorage Daily News says it best-

According to a memo from Alaska Department of Fish and Game biologist Larry Van Daele, Treadwell set up his bear-viewing camp "in such a way that bears wishing to traverse the area would have had to either wade in the lake or walk right next to the tent. A person could not have designed a more dangerous location to set up a camp.''

In videos found at the scene, Van Daele said, Treadwell described "his campsite as (in) a potentially dangerous location, but he expresses his confidence that he understands these bears and they will not harm him.''

Naw, the bears didn't harm him...they only left his head attached to his spine under a pile of mud. They were also considerate enough to stuff his girlfriend mostly-consumed body under a mound of dirt and twigs in the camp so she would easily be found by Park rangers. Wild bears are great.

And what about the idiot girlfriend who was with him? This fool was a Treadwell groupie who tracked him down after watching him on TV. Needless to say, instead of boning this shithouse bearologist, she ended screaming her head off as 'Ollie' did what wild bears do-eat, eat and eat some more.

This fucking moron also stated that if something were to happen to him, he did not want anything to happen to the bear that did it. WTF? This guy was warned over and over again by park authorities that bears that attack humans are almost ALWAYS killed, lest they are emboldened to attack someone else later. Two bears died because of this sorry asshole as a direct result of his dumb ass getting eaten. The head ranger at Katmai National Park even went so far as to tell him

"The last time I saw Timothy, I told him to be safe out there and that none of my staff would ever forgive him if they had to kill a bear because of him,'' she said. "I kind of had a heart-to-heart with him. I told him he was teaching the wrong message.

"This is unfortunate, (but) I'm not surprised. It really wasn't a matter of if; it was just a matter of when.''

When these two fools died, they were going to video-tape the encounter. Treadwell was wearing a mike on his shirt. This tape was found. That's the main way that Rangers were able to piece together this mercy killing. Only the authorities have heard it, but it'll probably end up on the internet soon enough. Hopefully :)

I want to end this post with a quote by our Shithouse Naturalist Who Got Eaten By the Bears And Got His Girlfriend Eaten Too.

'I would be honored to end up in bear scat.'

On the tape he was screaming like a beeyotch. Probably wish you hadn't seen a bear in your life then did you Timothy?

Pic of the Day- I was saving this pic for a special post...

This is for SnapOffMode-In college he attempted to grow a weed plant in our closet. It was one fucking plant and he thought he was Pablo Escobar. I told him he'd end up in jail and this guy would be his cellmate.But I just laugh whenever I look at it. Found in the great wilderness that is the Internet...I think its SOM's BFF

Here's to you Wingman, the unsung hero of nights on the town

Legendary Wingman to Bart Simpson, Millhouse Van Houten

Wingman. What does that word mean to you? Is it a buddy who goes out with you when you want to get plastered and he carries your sorry-vomit-covered ass home? Is it the homegirl who accompanies you on 8 hour marathon shopping sessions in The City after you got dumped by your boyfriend? Is it a partner that navigated for you when your taking a roadie to Cache Creek and ended up in Deliverance country? When I was in the Army, we always had to have another partner with us as often as possible, to watch each others back. This was just an extension of our training which emphasized teamwork, camaraderie and all that good shit. But we even extended that out to when we weren't on-duty too, when we were out at night and motherfuckers wanted to mess with a soldier, you always had your 'battle buddy/wingman' with you to bail you out (sometimes literally!)
The Wingman concept has grown into a duty, as bound by rules, customs and just plain shit-you-have-to-do. I submit the following wingman article from the website Modern Drunkard Magazine. It codifies the Wingman Compact. If you are to take on the awesome responsibilities of the Wingman, you must know your duties, responsibilities and fucking danger that comes with it. Here's a snippet:

The wingman is arguably the noblest creature to ever step into a barroom.

Who else, with cavalier disregard for his personal reputation, is so willing to throw himself upon the cruel mercies of a brazen man-hater, just so his buddy can hook up with a sorority girl with big gazongas? Who else, with just a hint of a grimace, will selflessly dirty dance with a creature so hideous that no amount of hard liquor will wash the stain from his memory? Who else, especially if he’s loaded to the gills, will stand in the deepest depths of hell just so a pal can climb up his back into hook-up heaven?

Whose sterling motto is, “You are going to so owe me, dude.”?

None else but the wingman, the King Leonidas of the saloon.

There is some funny shit there people. Read it and learn.

Which one is the Cock Blocker? A Wingman must evaluate and assess the target in mere seconds. Do you have what it takes?