Uhhh the Truth hurts...like a overstretched g-string on a fat bitch

Man, I don't know where to start here...

• The good thing is that is you stay exclusively in a urban area, say San Francisco or New York, you have a good chance of seeing freaks like the one on the left-white, black, asians, any race of the finest, female flesh in the world.
  
• The sad thing is, you only have to drive a couple miles outside San Francisco into Marin and the East Bay to start seeing gastropods like the one on the right. Even worse, you know how the Earth is covered 70% by water? Well, in of 95% America, your chances of being struck blind by gelatinous, quivering, jiggling, flabby fat chicks are 5 to 1. For you non-gamblers those aren't good odds.
  
• I know there are hot chicks in America. The problem is that many of them only have a small window of hot-ness in their lives. For some it might last only one, two years in high school or college, for others? Maybe it last long enough for them to land a husband but that's a double edged sword because thats also the same period of time when they'll get impregnated, thus ending the hot-ness period prematurely. For others it never comes, the hot-ness period short-circuited by fast food, canned meat, epic spam binges, midnight baloney/jelley sandwiches and so forth. For some they parley the hot-ness period in a career in movies. For the rest of the world's females? Their...uhhh normal human beings.
• Do they even sell thong underwear in that size? Who the fuck would manufacture a thong in that size? What evil motherfucker would do such a thing? It's a goddamn crime against humanity, God and the fucking Queen. Were a bunch of designers sitting around in a room in Shitlick, Kansas allocating thong underwear to Wal-Mart, Target or Costco and said to themselves "We're not serving the fat demographic! Get the designers in here! We need a line of size XL thru XXXXL thong underwear stat!"