April 20, 1999 Littleton, CO-Columbine High School Massacre - Two punk-ass white boys decide they're getting off the Matrix and take as many people with them as they can. They fucking aquire an arsenal of weapons and homemade bombs under the noses of their oblivious parents and attack the school. Result? 13 dead, 24 wounded, and Littleton, CO becoming a fucking national symbol of clowning for the rest of this century. The only solace we have is that since the two fools committed suicide instead of getting a broomstick up the ass in prison, their getting a pitchfork up the ass in Hell.
Burn in hell cocksuckers
Summer 2003 Eagle County, CO- Kobe Bryant is accused of rape while there to get surgery on his knee. Dumb motherfucker then threw teammate Shaquille O'Neil under the bus when questioned by the cops, saying that "he should have done what Shaq does ... that Shaq would pay his women not to say anything" and already had paid up to $1 million "for situations like this."
Kobe and his victim err...date
Dec 26, 1999 Boulder, CO-6 yr old JonBenet Ramsey is found dead in her parents house the day after fucking Christmas. NO ONE knows what the fuck happened to her. Her parents are fingered by the Boulder Police. What ensues is a unholy feeding frenzy of TV interviews, press conferences, lawsuits and rolled eyeballs whenever the words Boulder and Colorado are heard in the same sentence . Also the fact that JonBenet's WASP mom put up her in creepy 'child' beauty pageants, was just another bizarre twist to this fucked up story. In the years since no one is arrested and the cops have no suspects. Then some freak American pervert err...teacher in Thailand claims he fucking killed the kid. But it then turns out even though dude is a deranged pedophile, he could not have possibly done the crime, since he hasn't mastered the art of being a pervert in two places at the same time. Busted for being a moron! To this date, no suspects, no arrests and its been 8 years and counting. Hooah! That's justice!
The parents and the poor child. Look at this shit, she never had a chance. Rustle them up in heaven JonBenet, rest in peace.
Sept 2003 Denver, CO - Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker Joey Porter is shot in the ass as he stands outside a downtown denver nightclub. He uses the experience to motivate his teammates. Watch near the end of this one-minute clip:
Jan 1, 2007 Denver, CO - After attending a New Years Eve party at a downtown Denver nightclub, Denver Bronco player Darrent Williams dies like a G, shot down while in his stretch Hummer in a hail of bullets in a drive-by assassination. Ironically celebrating his teams elimination from the playoffs, the amount of angst and bewilderment over Williams' gatting lasts a unusually long time since about 1000 young black men have already been gunned down in Oakland, CA in 2006 alone without nary a ESPN Sportscenter segment on them.
A fine, upstanding pillar of the community this guy was, no doubt.
April 8, 2006 Denver, CO - Denver Nuggets rookie guard, Julius Hodge, is shot three times while driving home from a downtown Denver nightclub. Since he neither died from his wounds or played in the Super Bowl, so no one gives a fuck. Sorry Julius.
***Photo not available** hahaha
Jan 12, 2007 Littleton, CO - A private investigator from Littleton, CO, Bryan Grady, pleads guilty to identity theft and conspiracy in connection with the HP spying scandal. Fuck, even with shit happening in another state, Littleton, Co can't catch a break.
***What's the point in even posting a picture of this loser?***
Dec 26, 2006 Fort Collins, CO - Teacher Carrie McCandless is accused of doing 'everything but sex' with a 17 year old student on a hiking trip when she was suposed to chaperone. The pair reportedly made out in cars, the woods, dry humped next to another sleeping student, drank grain alcohol and Jack Daniels, smoked dank, exchanged notes even after the trip-including 75 text messages in one day, and they never had sex.
Teacher of the Year.
That's quite a list of criminal acts and generally fucked up behavior. I could have gone on for more, but I'm lazy. Colorado has set the bar pretty high for other states to beat them in the Fucked Up News category. Does the high altitude alter human brain waves in Colorado? Sort of like Bizarro Aurora Burealis effect, but instead of cool lights in the sky, people just go plain fucking crazy? I have relatives in Denver myself and they are decent God-fearing people. I hope that none of this crazyness touches them.
My cousin K-Dog, who was raised and still lives in Denver, is tripping off the shabby treatment that Colorado receives. I feel for her, but damn, you can't ignore the motherfucking empirical knowledge I've just fucking dropped. Colorado has a worst rep than Mississippi. When was the last time you heard of the KKK killing someone last year? Colorado's screwed. If I was the governor, I'd cringe whenever I opened up the morning paper. It's enough to stick a sharp pencil in your eye.
PS: Watch the hell out if your a black athlete in downtown Denver. You will get fucking shot, that's a scientific fact. A strange phenomenon called "Catching a bullet in Denver-itis". THEY SHOT ME IN DENVER!
Posts
2 comments:
What would u do when ppl shitted all over u on school, nobody wuld do a thing against it, no teachers helpin u and it wuld go on and on every day all day...u wuld flip out too! what happened on Columbine is peoples own fault, if they didnt act like retards towards them 2 kids then it wuldnt have happened, i dont blame them for shooting up the school, mayb ppl start thinkin twice now be4 they start pickin on sum1 otherwise ppl will keep shooting up schools!
If u a bully and like to pick on ppl weaker then u i hope the next bullet is for U!
Action is reaction, the action was that those 2 kids got picked on a lot till they went psycho and the reaction was scared bitches running thru the school begging for their lives, nuff said!
Post a Comment