I'm calling out Beeyotch-Ass players for their Beeyotch-Ass acts.

Basketball is a man's game. You got motherfuckers scratching, clawing, shooting guns and shit...and that's to just buy a pair of Air Jordan 11s. Then when you actually play the game, you have to constantly be watching out so you don't get punk'd on the court by some shitheads who think that THEY are MJ, White Chocolate or fucking AI. Then you got to deal with the assholes who sweat like chinese coolies working on the railroad and 100% of the time they fucking stink like a $2 whore after a $100 night. And that's playing with foolios on the playground! So what kind of man do you have to be to play in the fucking NBA, the greatest league in the world, the greatest athletes in the world. Well, recently, some of the so called 'elite' players have shown...a somewhat less flattering image to the world. They have shown that being tall, rich, black, and athletically gifted doesn't automatically mean to have a pair of brass balls when it comes to being a man on the court. I submit the following with some succint commentary by me:

#1 Carmelo Anthony shows how they do it in Baltimore where he's from. I guess Baltimore is full of wanksters scared to fight.

-26 second mark-Anthony sucker punches a NY Knick and proceeds to run backwards down the court.
-36 second mark-Anthony has reached mid-court, still back-pedaling from the infuriated Knick player. WTF? He just set a new record for Bitch-Ass Back-Pedal From Baseline to HalfCourt time.
-46 second mark-Anthony isn't even in the picture anymore! Where is Carmelo? That motherfucker I think fucking ran into the stands! Wow, that's unbelievably...bitchlike.

Beeyotch Grade: A
-Melo totally moved from Wannabe Gangster to complete Wankster in the span of 20 seconds.
-He did a great job in showing the world that Baltimore is filled with bitch-ass marks that will sucker punch and run from a fight in record time. Kudos Melo, I glad that wearing baggy clothes has helped hide your menstrual period, but the truth is out you little beeyotch.

#2 Kevin Garnett starts a fight with Antonio McDyess. Then miraculously transforms into a white man fleeing from a angry black man. This shit is priceless. KG thought he was hard; the hardest thing in KGs house now is the erection on his dog.


Beeyotch Grade: B+
-KG tries to defend his teammate by first pushing and then tossing the ball at McDyess. First of all that was a bitch shove. If your going to push a man, FUCKING PUSH a man. No wussy-ass flailing at someone like your Suzie Rotten-Crotch on the playground. Then he tops it off by barely tossing the ball at McDyess' chest from 2 feet away. WTF KG? You think after those two wankster ass moves McDyess isn't going to have your ass now? He know's your a bitch and he's out for blood.
-Once McDyess advances on him in a menacing manner, KG transforms in the Bob from Accounting and starts backing the fuck up. But he's still trying to hold on to his masculinity by a thread, but it backfires horribly on him. KG throws a weak, girly right hook in the general direction of McDyess' collar bone. Maybe he has been listening to too much Wu Tang Clan shit and thought he has hitting a pressure point? Naaawwww, KG's a bitch. His manhood was scooped out and sold on eBay when he decided to stay in Minnesota and be Glen Taylor's bitch.
-KG grades lower than Melo because at least he stayed on the court, abeit behind teammates, coaches and officials. That's worth about a Warm Bucket of Spit.

#3-Dwayne Wade. This shit is solid-fucking-gold. You would think that being protected by the refs would have kept him safe. But what happens when little Dwayne hurts his little shoulder?

-Cry you little bitch CRY. WTF is this little bitch ass crying about? I've seen KIDS cry less when they're hurt.
-And WTF is up with the wheelchair. And they didn't just wheel his ass to the locker room either-he went straight into a fucking AMBULANCE in the wheelchair. Here's some photographic proof:
Beeyotch Grade: A++++
-Wade's a beeyotch and now there is no doubt. This mewling, slobbering Wussy is getting crucified all over the intertubes. Read this shit from the SuperiorPics forum:

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!

Doctors cannot examine Wade's injury because everytime they touch him, they get called for a foul... 13 doctors have already been fouled out and sent home for the night... STAY TUNED!!!!!!

Stay tuned for some more NBA Players That Are Beeytoches Awards.